Relationships are transactional…
Have you heard of this before?
Or maybe I should say, do you believe this?
I know that quietly, we seek validation even when we affirm that we do not. We wish that the people we call our friends would be there to cheer us on in good times and keep us from falling in our lows. But funny enough, it’s easier to point fingers than to be that person for others.
Well, this is not about you. It is about the men in our society. I have heard them say, especially in June (Men’s Mental Health Month), that nobody listens to them and just wants to take from them, ignoring their pains and difficult paths. They say they are trained to toughen up and not speak about their hurts, but instead nurse them and keep moving.
Do you think that this is true?
I believe that everyone has a voice, and despite the strange paths life takes us, we should not allow culture or our upbringing to prevent us from healing. I think that these men may be right; Not because I feel their pain, but for the generation of boys we are raising in the society.
Young men in their early 20s already believe that a man should not be caught crying, that they cannot ask their siblings (mostly sisters) for help (financially, most times) unless they come through for them on their own accord.
Lies!
These lies they hear growing up are gradually turning them into something other than what God made them to be.
I pray that men will become more vulnerable, because it is easier to love them this way.
It is easier to love and care for them when they open and allow their hearts to heal from traumas, wrong advice, mistakes they never meant to happen and even the intentional choices they make that did not go well.
Relationships might be eventually transactional, but what if it is just in the right frame, only the right transactions?
I mean, why should the man not be able to ask for help when he truly needs it?
Why should he not cry if he feels like it?
Why should culture make him sink into depression and low productivity?
Think on these questions and find these men around you, because not all of them are like this.
Find them and teach them right,
Tell them it is okay to cry and ask for help,
Let them know we see them and will not want them to continue on this path that will affect their identity presently and in the future.